MARIA COFFEY

à Not all of our readers were lucky enough to read your books, would you please tell us something about you and about your life. Tell us: who is Maria?
I was born and brought up in England, within a very strong Irish Catholic community. Both my parents had emigrated from Ireland, which they always referred to as •homeê, and they raised me to consider myself as Irish. So, even from a young age, I always felt like an outsider, not really belonging in the place where I lived. This, more than anything, I think, has contributed to my need to travel, to put myself in places where I am an outsider. It also made me into an observer À I love to watch people, to study how they move and speak and interact, which is an important attribute for a writer. And it drew me to people and groups who are in some way on the edge of things. I studied Geography and Education at Liverpool University, then went to teach and travel for a year in Latin America À in Peru, Bolivia and Argentina. When I returned from those travels I got involved in the climbing world. My brother Mick, who is twelve years older than me, was rock climbing and mountaineering then, and I began to meet some of his friends À wild people who had the most amazing parties! I was drawn to them because I loved their energy, their daring and the fact that most of them were choosing to take an unconventional route through life À living on the edge in many different ways. I never took up climbing myself but I developed lots of friendships in that world, and that is how I met Joe Tasker.

à I was very excited reading fragile edge and soon I was very touched Ä How did you get the idea to describe yourself in this book?
Three years into my relationship with Joe Tasker, he disappeared without trace on the NE Ridge of Everest, along with Peter Boardman. Just after I received the news, I began writing a journal À the first time I had ever done this. I wrote obsessively, filling a number of journals, all throughout my own trip to Everest with Hilary Boardman, and for a whole year after that, recording so many thoughts about Joe, our relationship, his loss. Once I had stopped writing in the journals, I carried them around with me À I never looked at them, but they were like a part of me that I didnêt want to lose. In 1985, when I came to Canada to teach, I brought the journals with me; two years later, when I married Dag Goering, I suddenly realized what they were for. There were so many tangles in my past, so many things that had been left unresolved between Joe and me; before I could move into the future with Dag, I had to pick through those tangles, and try to sort them out. The journals were the key to this. I read them again and then began to write. I didnêt know why I was writing, it was just something I felt compelled to do. When I had written 15,000 words however, I thought, maybe I should do something with this? I sent the manuscript to Hilary Boardman, who showed it to Chris Bonington, who wrote to encourage me to carry on telling a story that had never been told in the mountaineering world. And so I continued, for months. It was exhausting work, a catharsis. I was so lucky to have a husband who understood why I had to do this, and who accepted his bride spending the first months of her marriage writing about her love for another man!!! By this time, Chrisês literary agent was interested in the project. In February 1988 I sent her the manuscript. Three weeks later she rang to say it had been accepted for publication. It was a big shock!! Truly, the work had been personal, to try to reach an understanding À and now, suddenly, I realized my story was going to be made public.

à You didnêt hesitate to describe your weakness, your despair, your sorrow and your search for a sheet anchorãwhere did you find this strength of mind?
I donêt know. As I said above, it was necessary for me to write this, it was a catharsis. Fragile Edge was my first book, but since then writing has become for me a way to order my experiences, to examine them and make sense of them. Iêve always been a very honest person, and I write very openly about myself À what is the point of hiding?

à I had a feeling that your keystone is in the travel to Everestês base camp, viewing with your eyes the things that Joe loved and fixing in your heart the things that he saw before his deathÄ Am I wrong or right?
Yes, you are right., and I canêt say it any better! Joe never wanted me to go to base camps with him. So his climbing was a part of his life that I didnêt really share. And that was hard, because it was such a big part. When I got the news that he had died, I hadnêt seen him for three months. I wanted to be in the places he had been in, just before he died, and, as you say so beautifully, I wanted to see the things that he saw and fix them in my heart. Also, I wanted to find some understanding of what had drawn him away from me and to these mountains, time and time again. On Everest, I did come to understand that À I was entranced by the beauty of the mountain, I was able to see it through his eyes, and realize why he longed to be in such high, wild places.

à Meeting Dag changed your life, would you mind telling us how it happened?
I came to Canada in1985 on a one year teaching exchange. Six months later, I met Dag in a Tai Chi class. He had been living in Germany for some years, going through university there, studying to be a veterinarian, and he had recently returned to Canada to do some research for his PhD. When I saw him, for the first time since Joe died I felt my heart open. It was terrifying, because I was still in love with Joe, which is why all my other attempts at relationships since his death had failed. But Dag is very special, with a deep understanding of human nature. And he felt no threat from the •ghostê of Joe. Our love affair began very slowly À Dag was also recovering from a deep hurt À but by the following year we both knew that our futures were intertwined. From the beginning, Dag made it clear that he wanted an adventurous life. But he also made it clear that he wanted me at the centre of his life, sharing all his adventures. At first this was a hard concept for me to grasp À it was so different to Joeês philosophy!! But it has been wonderful. We have traveled many parts of the world together, exploring places by kayak, bike, and sailboat. I know that Dag would have liked to •push the edgeê more than he has, and that he has held back because of me. And for that Iêm very grateful to him. And we now work as a creative team: Dag is a photographer, he also writes and he puts together wonderful multi-media presentations about our journeys. So our lives are truly intertwined, in all aspects.

à With The book Where the mountain casts its shadow you changed from your life to comparing with other people that had vicissitudes like yours. What has spurred you to confront this taboo: the impact of extreme mountaineering on peopleês lives
In 1999 Fragile Edge was republished in N. America. I was invited to the Banff Mountain Film Festival to speak on a panel called –Adventure: The Personal Cost” . On that panel, in front of an audience of mountaineers, I spoke very openly and honestly about what it was like to love, and lose, someone to the mountains. And I talked about the impacts I had seen on other partners and on the children of climbers. My words caused a great stir À many people in the audience were angry, others were very supportive À and all through the rest of the festival people talked about this discussion. My husband Dag was in the audience and afterwards he said, –You have so much to say on this subject À you must write about it.” My first reaction was NO! I had the sense that I had broken a taboo during that discussion and I was scared to go further. But the idea stuck, and after a year, and encouragement from Dag, I began to think seriously about writing such a book.

à The mountains and the climbers that emerge here in the book are very different from stereotyped images of a conqueror, engaged in a noble fight with mountain, a kind of super-hero: reading the first chapters of your book somebody might think that a person who make dangerous climbing in spite of having a wife, a mate, or children is selfish or at least reckless --but then other things emerge For example I desired to beat Jim Wickwire, but then I changed opinionÄWhat about that?
I wanted to show all sides of the mountaineering story, to give voice to many people and opinions and theories, and then to let the reader make up his or her mind.

à Some woman, after the death of her mate on the mountains often says –never again with a climber”, but I think of Linda Wylie, who joined Anatolij Bukreev ,after she lost her man Greg Gordon and she soon suffered another great sorrow. What is the reason that induces to re-live these pains?
There isnêt one answer to this À itês different for everyone. But I think there is something addictive about life with a high altitude climber. The psychologist Geoff Powter calls it •the repeating personality syndrome”, the need for constant change to create excitement. Climbers exhibit it in their restlessness À they long to be away climbing, and when they are on the mountain, they long for home. Their partners exhibit it in the choice of a mate, and the lifestyle that goes along with him or her À someone who is always leaving for remote places and daring ventures, disturbing the household with their comings and goings. Also, when you lose a partner to the mountains, the mountaineering community is very supportive and protective. Within it, you donêt need to explain yourself, and your grief is shared. In such a milieu, it is very easy to slip into another relationship with a climber.

à In this book you have the courage to face a subject that today all people escape: death and the consequent mourning. We live exorcizing death and pretending to live in a world of happy people who never grow and never have problems, but life is very different: we suffer so much and when we have the thing on, we cannot react , because we donêt have the strength. The image of the Irish burial preparation is wonderful, but now it isnêt practiced any more. Where do you get this strength from ?
When my father died, the fact that I was with him, holding his hand, and that afterwards I could help to prepare his body for burial À these were great gifts which helped me come to terms with his death much more quickly than I would have done otherwise. Where I really needed strength was when Joe disappeared À the fact there was no body, no conclusive fact of his death À this was incredibly hard, and it made it almost impossible to come to terms with his death .

à To assimilate the mourning, to accept death, to feel aware that something has changed --the image of the child that buried his toys and then he unearthed them is convulsing, how did you contrive it?
I didnêt contrive it À this was described to me by Tara Mortensen. The image was so powerful, and spoke for itself À I put it straight into the book.

à Your book belongs to mountain literature because you talked with women and relatives of climbers, but the meditations that your book imposes fit to many other life events, and I think that many people reading your words may have great encouragement and they can get out of despair, which is like a wall around them. Do you agree with me?
Absolutely. It was my hope that people would find parallels between climbing and other worlds, and I have received many letters and emails from people outside of the climbing •tribeê, who have been touched and helped by the book. People struggling with depression, going through a marriage breakup, dealing with cancer, and, of course, people facing bereavements not related to climbing. Hearing from such people is truly heart-warming À itês the best validation I could receive.

à I think that your latest book force the reader to make a self-reflection on his life, about the troubles, and the pains that we inflict on people who love us, perhaps in the name of freedom or the of the dreams, forgetting that in this manner we risk braking the dreams of those who loves usã indeed the dreams that we have together, our very lives
Yes, and again, this goes beyond the climbing world. My editor on the book is the wife of a well know bone surgeon. She knew nothing about climbing before she started work on the book. At first she was horrified by the behaviour of the climbers. Then one day she rang me up and said, –I understand what you mean about living under someoneês shadow. Itês been just the same for me, with Peter!”

à Here in Italy you are known for these two books , about these things, but you wrote many others books , especially for children. Tell us about thisÄ
I have written a number of books about the adventures I have shared with my husband, Dag. I will email you a separate list, with information on these books. My childrenês books À writing these has been such fun! One of them, for teenagers, is about our kayaking expedition in the Solomon Islands, and is beautifully illustrated with Dagês photographs.. The other three books are for small children, and are about the adventures of our cat, Teelo, who when he was younger used to love to come in the kayak with us for day trips. Sometimes I go into schools and tell the stories in these books, which feature lots of other animals, using hand puppets. It brings me great joy to see the wonder in the eyes of the children!

à Have you got a dream to realize?
That Dag and I can continue to live and love and follow our hearts for as long as possible. Which, of course, is the legacy Joe left us À to live intensely, knowing it can end at any minute.

à I thank you with all my heart for all the time that you devoted to me and to Alpiniaês readers, I also want to express gratitude from all Italian readers of your books because they find in your books words of consolation and comfort , and through your words they may find fundamental answers to questions that often donêt find answers. Thank you Maria, you are our great friend!
Thank you, Filippo. These are such intelligent and well-considered questions, and I really appreciate you thought and care. I sent my good wishes to your readers, and I hope I can come to Italy some day, to talk about the books.

Maria Coffey: Bibliography

You can find more information on Maria on her website www.hiddenplaces.net

© Filippo Zolezzi